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There Are Tons Of Trees On That Island. They Could Get Off It If They Wanted To, They Just Don't...
POSTED ON 08/04/11 11:18 PM
And so continues my three part series of moral, ethical and proper questions.
What is the difference between \"Can\'t\" and \"Won\'t\"?
So often when a conflict arises someone will ask you not to take that side, or do that thing, or go to that place and just as often the response you give is \"I can\'t\". Why \"can\'t\" you? What is keeping you from doing or not doing said thing? Shouldn\'t you really be saying \"I won\'t\"? Let me emphasize:
\"Come shopping with me.\"
\"I can\'t.\"
\"What do you mean you \"can\'t\"?
\"I\'ve got to watch Gilligan\'s Island.\"
\"What?\"
\"I can\'t go. I\'ve got to stay and watch Gilligan\'s Island.\"
\"No you don\'t.\"
\"Yes, I do. They might get off the island today. I\'m sorry, but I just can\'t go with you.\"
\"Bloody well record it then.\"
\"I can\'t. It\'ll bother me all day if I miss it.\"
\"So what you are saying is you \'won\'t\'.\"
\"No, I\'m saying can\'t. I want to go shopping, but I just can\'t leave.\"
\"No, you won\'t
leave. You have a choice, you just think Gilligan\'s Island is more important. And spoiler alert, they never get off the island.\"
Of course you can substitute the watching of Gilligan\'s Island with other things like a taking a holiday off of work but I just went with the more common occurrence. The point is, you have a choice but you act like you don\'t so you say \"I can\'t\". You could, you just \"won\'t\". Granted, it may be a valid reason as to why you \"can\'t\" do something, but you are still choosing not to do it when you rightly could. The only time you should be saying \"I can\'t\" when asked to do something is when you bloody well can not
do it. At all. No choice. One option. Not to do said thing. Let me emphasize.
\"Could you come here for a second?\"
\"I can\'t.\"
\"Why not?\"
\"Because I\'m up to my neck in a block of concrete. I can\'t move.\"
\"You mean you won\'t move.\"
\"No, I mean I can\'t
move. I have no ability to move my body. I can talk and blink and shed hair, but I can\'t come there. Not without a forklift or a couple of burly men (or women, don\'t want to be sexist
) with a pulley system and a trolley. So if you don\'t mind, I\'d really rather if you
came here. And bring a chisel.\"
That is the only acceptable instance of using \"can\'t\" instead of \"won\'t\".
So why must we continue using the wrong word? Is it to spare the feelings of the person who is asking us to make the choice who is obviously going to be on the losing end of said choice?
\"Marry me.\"
\"I can\'t.\"
\"Oh, of course you can\'t. We\'ve only been dating for six years, living together for four and own a cat. How silly of me to not realize you \'can\'t\'. Obviously you would die if that happened. Nevermind then.\"
Or is it because we are too lazy to point out the choice in hopes of sparing us valuable time in explanations.
\"Could you drive me to the Airport on Friday?\"
\"I could, but I won\'t.\"
\"Eh?\"
\"Yes, I hate fighting the traffic and then I have to drive all the way back by myself.\"
\"So bring Suzie with you for the way back.\"
\"No. Suzie hogs the radio and always wants the air conditioning on.\"
\"What about Mia?\"
\"Mia smells like fish.\"
\"So buy an air freshener.\"
\"Then I\'d have to go to the store. I also don\'t know which flavor counteracts the fish smell so I could buy the wrong one.\"
\"Then buy a few different ones. I\'ll give you the money.\"
\"But I can\'t go shopping. Gilligan\'s Island is coming on soon.\"
\"... Seriously?\"
\"They might get off the island.\"
Maybe we really think we can\'t because we so often won\'t admit that there is another choice. We are so used to our obligations that it seems the alternative is too dire to think about.
Probably not.
I\'m going to go with the lazy explanation.
Cheers.
Mcbean
Hmmm...
POSTED ON 08/03/11 12:50 AM
And so begins my three part series in moral, ethical and proper questions.
Firstly I\'d like to say that it\'s really annoying (because it is all my fault) that when I type out a nice long blog entry and hit the submit button, yet I have forgotten to add an actual title yet (I usually figure out the titles afterward) the blog program tells me I need to add a title. However, there is no \"Just type your title here__________\" box or button to go back to type in the title, so you have to use your browser\'s Back button which it then asks if you want to leave the page. This unfortunately is the choice to \"Protest\" or \"Forget\" (kudos to those of you that understand that reference). If you don\'t want to leave the page you just sit there, hoping time will heal this wound (it won\'t),and magically the problem will resolve it\'s self. No, you don\'t have time for that, you need instant gratification, so you have to leave the page so you can fix what\'s been all boggled up. When you do \"Leave the Page\" it erases all memory of the body of the message as if it was never typed, therefore losing all the effort and witty things you are sure not to remember which of course causes Hulk to SMASH. Unfortunately I can\'t be bothered to go back and rewrite the entry at that time because I now have the compulsory smashing to do. This seems to be a lesson in responsibility, but I guess I\'m not mature enough for that yet because I want EA to put a bloody button that allows me to go back and just add the title. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
So, that leads me to my first ponderous question.
\"Is it ever truly right to give up on something?\"
I\'ve never been a fan of the phrase \"society tells us...\" because why should we let society dictate how we think? However, there is the fact that we do tend to judge people dependent on our social mores and adherences to situational rules of etiquette. You can\'t get around the fact that we judge people. Most of us do (for those of you who say you don\'t, high horse parking is around the back near the septic tank) so let\'s just move on, yeah?
Beeteedub, that whole paragraph above could have been summed up in the sentence, Let\'s just move past the \"We shouldn\'t let society run our lives\" part of the debate
. Goodness, I\'m long winded. So, we hear things all the time like \"Never give up on something
\", or \"Never stop fighting for what you believe in
\" etcetera, etcetera. But really, sometimes you know you can\'t win. Should you keep fighting a losing battle, just for the sake of \"not giving up
\"? Sometimes continuing the fight is nonsense, and quite the waste of time, but does that mean you should still be shamed that you surrendered yourself to losing? When is it okay to finally admit, \"Yup, I\'ve been buh grred. You got me, Universe. This round to you.\" (Substituting \"Universe\" with whatever obstacle that hinders you).
I for one don\'t like to give up on anything, but come on, let\'s be practical here. You have to give up on some things. I mean, I\'m not still following around my first crush, hounding them for a date... that\'d be mad! And sad. And creepy (shiver). But what if... what if I hadn\'t given up? What if I had been persistent? Would I have worn them down? Would they have submitted to my charms? Was it okay to admit defeat?
The opposite side of the coin is the \"move on\" argument, which is contradictory to the not giving up dictum. The Axis powers gave up, and have seemingly moved on (and thank the Universe for that). Is there shame in that? They\'ve moved on, we all have, well, save the moronic ones. But they actually prove the point. They obviously haven\'t moved on, so is that wrong? They are still holding the candle for the War of Stupdity to wage on. So which is right? Fight on, or move on? Can it be situational? There\'s no handbook to reference, but \"Never\" generally doesn\'t mean \"All instances except for these, those and the ones on the back shelf, to the left\".
End of Disc One. Please insert Disc Two.
Cheers.
Mcbean
